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Sexuality
2004-04-29 / 7:31 a.m.
Yesterday I wrote about my sexuality and then lost it. Perhaps a blessing in disguise. It seems to be a question that has come up alot recently. Sean even asked me if I was struggling with my decision to marry him versus my sexuality and I lied and said no. Actually it wasn't so much a lie at the time, I hadn't really thought about it until he said something. It shouldn't really matter anyways. 3 months have passed since he has asked (give or take) and he hasn't even taken the time to finish his divorce papers yet.
I guess I am living a fools dream of walking down the aisle. I am just afraid that my mom won't get the chance to see it due to her health issues. I guess I am afraid I will miss it too given my total lack of confidence over weight issues. I know that is stupid but that is the reality. I've seen bigger girls with great boyfriends but they are so much more filled with life and zest. Me, I'm a walking ball of negativity.
I'm working on it but why does it have to be such a long process?
The Last Chapter / The Next Chapter
Missed A Page?
Been Awhile - 2005-04-16
Your Stupid - 2005-04-06
The haze - 2005-04-05
YMCA Visit - 2005-03-14
And so I begin - 2005-03-13