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Losing my mind
2004-04-27 / 8:37 a.m.
I was waiting to make my first entry for a happier day. Since that is taking longer than what I expected I guess there's no better time than the present.
I put my mom in the hospital yesterday. Her kidney's have failed and she has to start dialysis. I have to admit I am angry with her for letting this go so far. If I had not gone to her doctor's yesterday I wouldn't have known how bad it was or how long she has procrastinated doing anything. When mom asked her doctor how long before she needed to have the surgery prepping her arm the doctor said "six months ago". I won't use the verbage that went through my mind at that moment. So off we went to the hospital to have the central line put in so dialysis could be started. She will also have her arm done but since it takes up to 6 weeks to heal she will have to use the central line for the time being. I guess I am angry because I am not ready to lose her. We actually have been getting along pretty good lately and anyone who knows me and my mom knows that is a feat in itself.
I guess there is just so many decisions that need to be made lately that I am simply miserable. No life is not that bad and if anyone had ever told me I would succomb to depression I would have told them they were full of it. I hate to admit defeat as it seems my life is nothing but defeats and I was finally overcoming that but once again I am defeated and finally tired of pulling myself up and out just to be knocked down again. I know this will pass as it always does. Admittedly though, it sure is taking a long time this time and it worries me. I guess this is how I know that I am not a total loss. I know there is something wrong. Therefore I can't be crazy or can I?
Well so much for first impressions.
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Missed A Page?
Been Awhile - 2005-04-16
Your Stupid - 2005-04-06
The haze - 2005-04-05
YMCA Visit - 2005-03-14
And so I begin - 2005-03-13