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Sighs of relief
2005-02-12 / 3:16 p.m.
I'm having a slow day. I can't seem to get motivated to do much of anything. There has been so much going on that I just feel tempted to blow off a day.
Yesterday I was able to sigh in relief. My fed taxes came back and I was able to make a substantial payment on my classes. Since I was locked out and classes start tomorrow I was near panic attack mode.
I was so stressed I was loosing hair by the handfull. Sounds like fun huh? Imagine my surprise when I washed my hair and I literally had my hair falling out in my hands. So its definately thinner now. Hopefully with getting that resolved I won't be losing as much.
I think part of that is my weight too. I have got to get it down. I know in college I had more success with exercising when I had someone to go to the gym with. Even if she had to miss a day I still went because I knew our regular routine would be back into effect soon. I need to find an exercise partner desperately. I suppose that would require me not to be a recluse in my own home.
So SO's wife called him awhile ago and reiterated she wanted the divorce. Fine, SO told her if she wanted it to pay for it which was the same thing she told him last year (remember this has been a four year back and forth thing). She then called him while he was on the road and had some very descriptive words about me to say. Then he called me and warned me she would be calling. Amazingly enough, she beeped in right after he said this. Armed with my best defense I answered as sweet as I possibly could and she apologized for the message she left on his phone. She asked why he couldn't pay and I flat out told her he was paying for my schooling (alright so maybe it was a white lie but she doesn't need to know our financial business). Anyway this took her by suprise. Ultimately she said she would just pay for the divorce. I offered, and did, fill out all the papers. Both of them just need to sign it now.
The date they chose to file the papers? This Monday. Good old Valentine's Day. She started crying. Personally I threatened SO not to make this a bad day for me. Stingy? Damn right. He didn't do Christmas for me other than the few dollar store items he had someone else pick up for me. New Years we sat in a hotel room and did ZIP, my birthday... you guessed it - nothing (no money really to do anything, hence the trip south for another auction). I have told him Valentine's Day better produce something in it for me. The divorce doesn't count, that's for him. Besides, I think my son wants to take his girlfriend out that night as well. Did I ever think I would be double dating with my kid? The thought NEVER crossed my mind.
Anyway, it will be interesting to know if she even shows up on Monday. Her last conversation was... "you know I still love you but...".
Personally, I told SO that I can't wait until the papers are signed and filed because I have something to tell her.
He's worried.
I'm not.
I just want to get real close to her ear where her friend can't here and remind her of how it used to be.
Since she is so subconcious about our little encounter I know that will bug the shit out of her. Is it mean? Probably but it isn't as mean as some of the nasty little things she said about me. Fat c***, fat b****, fat ass blah blah blah. You get the picture. I just get the satisfaction of knowing that no matter what she says now; it will be a nice little reminder that I may be fat but she sure didn't mind groaning and being satisfied at the time.
Alright... end lesbian comment. I am sure that is more than some needed to know but it sure felt good to say!
I guess I should get some work done. I am desperately behind on my lists that I created to do. I need a list, I forget little things and if I have the lsit I can say "oh yeah". The problem is that I make the list and expect to get it done in one day and that is just not possible. I have to learn to be more realistic and I know once I get some of the organization done that it will be easier to get things done faster in the long run. It is a long haul but soon the lists will be shorter and shorter until it is a one day project.
The Last Chapter / The Next Chapter
Missed A Page?
Been Awhile - 2005-04-16
Your Stupid - 2005-04-06
The haze - 2005-04-05
YMCA Visit - 2005-03-14
And so I begin - 2005-03-13